I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
