Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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