My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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