It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
