Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
