i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
