i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
