Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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