he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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