just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
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