he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I am naked and annoyed.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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