My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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