Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
