$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Randomize
