well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
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