You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
