So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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