I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
