The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Randomize