And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
