We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
