Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
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