i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
It's not a walk of shame if you run
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
