we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
