Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
