Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
