Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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