I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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