Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
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