He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Swine flu. Run for my life!
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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