dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
