I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Randomize
