Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
