Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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