): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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