YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
