This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
