im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
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