i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
