Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
