come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
