butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
