Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
