he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Randomize
