The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
