At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
