It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
