Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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