my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
