OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
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