She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
