How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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