I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize