I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
