Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I wish I only lived at night.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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