Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
