now i know why i became what i already was.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Randomize
