you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
