Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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