I wish I could teleport
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
