Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
