Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
