He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize