When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
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